i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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