are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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