she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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