6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
