I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
