a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
