i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
