So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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