that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
