whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
