i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
