jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
