The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
