the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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