he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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