And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
