At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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