I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
