i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
