Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
