garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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