I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
