Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
