is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
