so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
