Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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