I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
