I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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