I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
