There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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