how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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