what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
