I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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