My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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