You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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