Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
