So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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