so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
