I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
