The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
