i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
