So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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