I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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