That's intense
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
