No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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