My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
high people should be assigned attendants
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
