I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
