watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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