That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My ass is underappreciated
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
