Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
